Have you ever heard your mother calling your name and known right away that you were in deep trouble? When someone says “it’s Wednesday,” do you flinch in fear of coworker Bob who loves yelling “It’s hump day!”? Both of these are example of how our words define us. Your mother’s tone tells you what her mood is; coworker Bob is famous for his catchphrase; the vocabulary, tone, and shape of their speaking create your impression of them. These same nuances of dialogue produce three dimensional characters on the page.
Dialogue can make or break narrative writing, and it pays to study up on this facet of story. C.S. Lewis’s book Prince Caspian provides an excellent case study in the intricacies of dialogue. From the small selection of text below, you can already begin to see the shape of the characters shining through their speech.
“To speak plainly,” said Nikabrik, “your wallet’s empty, your eggs addled, your fish uncaught, your promises broken. Stand aside then and let others work. And that is why—
“The help will come,” said Trufflehunter. “I stand by Aslan. Have patience, like us beasts. The help will come. It may be even now at the door.”
“Pah!” snarled Nikabrik. “You badgers would have us wait until the sky falls and we can all catch larks. I tell you we can’t wait...”
“Oh, stop it, both of you,” said King Caspian. “I want to know what it is that Nikabrik keeps on hinting we should do. But before that, I want to know who those two strangers are whom he has brought into our council and who stand there with their ears open and their mouths shut.”
“Perhaps,” said Cornelius, “your new friends would like to speak for themselves? You there, who and what are you?”
“Worshipful Master Doctor,” came a thin, whining voice. “So please you, I’m only a poor old woman, I am, and very obliged to his Worshipful Dwarfship for his friendship, I’m sure. His Majesty, bless his handsome face, has no need to be afraid of an old woman that’s nearly doubled up with the rheumatics and hasn’t two sticks to put under her kettle. I have some poor skill—not like yours, Master Doctor, of course—in small spells and cantrips that I’d be glad to use against our enemies if it was agreeable to all concerned. For I hate ’em. Oh yes. No one hates better than me.”
Contractions
Start your dialogue test by checking contractions. While contractions are fairly common and used substantially in informal speech, the amount a person uses them reveals character. Skimming through Prince Caspian, you’ll quickly notice that all characters use contractions, but some use them noticeably less: Prince Caspian, King Miraz, and the nobles of Miraz’s court. These men appear a social step above everyone else simply because they use fewer contractions. Lewis effectively used this speech pattern to convey status, showing the effects of these characters’ education and class.
Vocabulary
The vocabulary characters use also divulges their personalities. Here again, dialogue can clarify difference in class. Lewis’s children, dwarves, and animals tend to have average vocabularies, while his more fantastic beasts and upper-class characters have a broader vocabulary. As a general rule, the nobler the role, the broader the vocabulary he gives the character. Miraz and his courtiers have the vocabularies of men taught language finesse for matters of state, and you can begin to see in the excerpt above that Doctor Cornelius and Prince Caspian speak in more calculated terms than the other characters.
Tone
Writer who take time to explore the science of tone find a goldmine for crafting good dialogue. Lewis has a knack for bringing out the distinct tones of his characters. Nikabrik the dwarf is a rough character, and his language shows it. He has a coarse way of speaking, drawn out by his blunt statements of fact, grumbling threats, and colorful turns of phrase. Doctor Cornelius, for all his education and knowledge, has a friendly tone. He isn’t above using contractions and doesn’t use heightened language unnecessarily. The hag, however, relies heavily on her ability to cajole. She wheedles and uses unnecessary words to evade giving any clear meaning. Lewis shapes these characters’ tones largely by what they say, how they say it, and why they say it that way.
Slang
Slang strengthens the attributes you’ve already built up using the previous techniques. These informal words can help clarify location, era, class, and other specifics of your story. Prince Caspian is laced with British slang (by Jove, bother, I say, I’m jiggered, etc.), especially in the Pevensie children’s language. Even Nikabrik’s simpler interjections of “pah!” serve to “dirty up” the language, making it feel less precise. Story-specific slang helps here, too, for identifying the prejudices or assumptions inherent in your characters (Nikabrik uses the term half-and-halfer to refer to dwarf-human crossbreeds; Doctor Cornelius uses by the Lion as an expletive).
Special Characteristics
Special characteristics are some of the most enjoyable to integrate. Trufflehunter the badger has a stoic, confident way of repeating himself to emphasize a point he feels confident in. The hag overflows with obsequious adoration, calling everything “worshipful.” And another dwarf character, Trumpkin, has an endless supply of alliterative expletives (beards and bedsteads, whistles and whirligigs, thimbles and thunderstorms!). Use these nuances of dialogue and highly specific character traits to help to set your characters apart.
Applying personality to the words your characters say frees your stories from boring, flat language. Delve into your characters’ idiosyncrasies and let them speak.
Callie Johnson works as Editorial Assistant at Kelli Sallman Writing and Editing with a bachelor’s degree in Theatre Arts and Creative Writing from Calvary University. She previously interned with Kelli for two years, working as proofreader and copyeditor on several manuscripts. Her strange obsessions include kerning, East Coker, and the sound of cows chewing.